在进入雪雁（snow goose）的春季栖息地之前，我在自己的记忆中寻访她的信息。
我首先感慨人的一生原不过是渴望被爱的一生，也是这个渴望不断被折断或失败的一生。
每个心灵都渴望爱与被爱，表明我们的确是从神来的，我们需要神的爱。
人生失爱，则表明我们并没有向神寻找爱。世界上的一切爱情不过是捕风。
人间的爱从根本上说就是为演绎存在的悲剧。
文学编织的爱情悲剧，宣告了心灵与爱情悲剧故事的同归于尽。在这方面，红楼一梦是中国的爱情经典。
然而雪雁在那里不过是黛玉身边微不足道的陪衬。如果神不在场，
普普通通的生命甚至被爱情悲剧边缘化，这是爱的荒凉和荒诞。
在西方，关于雪雁的凄美的爱情故事，是美国作家Paul Gallico (1897-1976)撰写的，出版于1940年。
中国画家何多苓将这个故事的悲剧力量演绎给中国读者。人在世上找不到爱。爱的时候已经彼此永绝。
1.英格兰北部沿海，有一大片沼泽。这里广袤，荒凉，只有一座废弃的灯塔，显示出曾经有过人的踪迹。
2.1930年春末，一个年轻人来到这里。畸形的身体使他远离了社会。 沼地迎接了他。
3.菲利普.雷亚法尔师专画鸟类和大自然的画家。他住在灯塔里。他还有一艘16英尺长的小帆船。
4.他是所有鸟儿的好朋友。从此，沼泽上的野鸟们找到了避难所。
5.他偶尔在附近的镇上露面，拿几幅画换日用品。这些画赢得了喜爱。他们背地里叫他“住在灯塔里画画的怪家伙”。
6.三年来，从未有人来看望他。然而有一天，一个女孩抱着一只白色大鸟，却生生地向灯塔走来。
7.“什么事，孩子？”那个“怪人”的声音低沉而又慈祥。“它受伤了，先生。他还活着吗？”女孩胆却地问。
8.好奇心使女孩忘记了恐惧。他看着画家给这只被猎人打伤的加拿大雪雁做手术。
9.雪雁睁开了圆眼睛，女孩高兴地笑了。“这样欢迎一位客人真是太残酷了！” 画家说：“不过它就会好起来的。”
10.女孩要回去了。“你叫什么名字，孩子？”“弗丽丝。”“你——你明天再来看看它好吗？”弗丽丝迟疑地点点头。
11.仲冬时节，雪雁已经能走动了。弗丽丝常来看望它。他不再害怕菲利普了。
12.第二年初夏，北去的大雁起飞了。雪雁的叫声更是清楚，响亮，似乎在向他俩告别。
13.雪雁离开后，弗丽丝就不再到灯塔了。夏天里，菲利普根据记忆画了一幅画。
14.十月的一天，秋风凄厉，海涛汹涌，菲利普听见一声高亢的鸣叫;一只白色大鸟梦幻般从天而降。
15.他立刻到镇上找到女邮局长：“请告诉弗丽丝——她住在渔村——雪雁回来了。”
16.三天后，弗丽丝羞涩的来到灯塔。她的个子长高了许多。
17.一年又一年，雪雁飞来又离去。弗丽丝渐渐长大了。
18.1940年春，第二次世界大战的炮声打破沼泽地的平静。五月的一天， 他俩站在防波堤上，目送最后一群大雁起飞。
19.雪雁展开巨大的翅膀，像一个白色的精灵在他们的上空盘旋。
20.“快看，菲利普。”弗丽丝惊喜地叫起来“它飞回来啦！”
21.“它不走了——这就是它自己选择的家。”菲利普的声音有些颤抖，眼里闪着异样的光。
22.一种从未有过的感觉在弗丽丝心中掠过。她惊慌慌地低下头， “我——我要走了。它留下了，你不再会孤独了。”
23.弗丽丝远远地回过头来，菲利普依然订立在防波堤上。她似乎听见一声低语：“再见，弗丽丝。”
24.。。。。。。
25.三周后的一天傍晚，弗丽丝又来到灯塔。他发现小船点起了出海的灯：“菲利普，你要离开这里？”
26.画家激动地告诉她，一支英国军队被德国人困在海峡那边的敦刻尔克。
“这一次我总算能作为一个男子汉尽一份力了。”
弗丽丝第一次发现他并不丑。
27.“我要跟你去。”菲利普摇了摇头：“瞧这小船，你去了就要少带一个士兵。你照看鸟儿好吗？”
28.弗丽丝呆呆地望着暮色中的大海。她看见一个白色的影子跟着小船飞去。“保佑他吧，雪雁。”
29.几天后，在伦敦的小酒馆，有些刚从敦刻尔克撤回来的官兵，谈起了一个神秘的驼背矮人。
30.他驾着一条小帆船，冒着德国人的轰炸，
往返于营救舰与海滩之间。 两天两夜里，一只白色大雁始终叫着在他头上打圈。
31.最后撤离的人看见那条弹洞累累的小船飘在海上。
那只大雁守在船头， 直到小帆船沉没才飞走。
弗丽丝并不知道这些。她只是等待，等着。最后他听见天空传来熟悉的叫声。
33.那叫声直扑打着她的心，她仿佛听见那个灵魂在呼唤：“永别了，我的爱。”
34.弗丽丝望着雪雁。她的心在回答：“菲利普，我爱你。”
35.雪雁低低地飞着，哀鸣着绕灯塔回旋了一大圈，然后冲天而去。
36.后来有一天，一架德国轰炸机把灯塔当成了军事目标。这座古老的灯塔从这片沼泽地上消失了。
附录：
‘The Snow Goose’ by Paul Gallico by Arnold Blaise
In 1940, The Saturday Evening Post carried a short story by Paul Gallico (1897-1976), who had begun his career as a sports reporter but who, in 1936, had moved to England and started writing fiction. In 1941, the story was published by Alfred A. Knopf as a slim novella of some fifty pages and was Gallico’s first major success as a fiction writer, being reprinted several dozen times in succeeding years. It was also Gallico’s only critical success, although he went on to write the hugely popular “Mrs. ‘Arris” series, as well as The Poseidon Adventure. The Snow Goose was, in Gallico’s words, “a once in a lifetime happening for a writer.”
The story of The Snow Goose is a variation on the ageless myth of a man whose physical deformity prevents most people from seeing his underlying admirable character. It begins in 1930, and is set on the east coast of England. Philip Rhayader, an artist in his late twenties, is a hunchback with a crippled left arm. Rebuffed by society, he retreats to the desolate marshland by the sea, where he lives in an abandoned lighthouse. There he paints the marsh and the wildfowl that inhabit it, and provides a sanctuary for birds over the winter before they migrate north in the spring.
One day, three years after Rhayader had come to the lighthouse, a young girl named Frith, no more than twelve, comes to seek him out. Carrying an injured bird in her arms, she approaches the lighthouse timidly, for she is frightened of its strange inhabitant, but she has heard of his reputation for taking care of the marsh’s wildlife. Rhayader tends to the bird, and tells Frith it is a Canadian snow goose, blown off course by a violent storm. Frith visits the lighthouse often to see the bird, but after it flies north in the spring, her visits stop. And Rhayader’s loneliness returns.
In mid-October the snow goose returns, and Rhayader is overjoyed. He sends a message to Frith, who again comes to the lighthouse during the winter months. And so the cycle repeats: when the snow goose returns, Frith resumes her visits; when the snow goose leaves, her visits stop.
Nonetheless, though the bird is the catalyst that brings Rhayader and Frith together, their relationship develops beyond it: they sail in Rhayader’s boat, and he teaches her the lore of the marsh. Over time, the snow goose’s stays at the lighthouse become longer and longer. By the spring of 1940, it becomes clear that the bird will leave no more. What of Frith, now a young woman?
The spring of 1940: Britain is enlisting small, private craft in a desperate attempt to evacuate hundreds of thousands of Allied soldiers from the beaches of Dunkirk, where they have been trapped by the German invasion of Belgium and France. Rhayader is determined to add his small boat to the attempt: “For once-for once I can be a man and play my part.” He sails across the North Sea and successfully rescues many soldiers, ferrying them to boats in deeper water, while Frith watches over the birds at the lighthouse and awaits his return.
Beautifully written in simple, lyrical prose, The Snow Goose is a moving story about love and courage, with an ending that is unforgettable.
你也可以通过GOOGLE找到这篇小说的原文来阅读。我以前不知道为什么读这篇短文也会流泪，现在我慢慢明白了。今天，望断那只雪雁，你是否听见了她从云层之上返回的信息……